exsanguinate | issue 4.2 excerpt

volume 4 issue 2
I make you watch:
I undress with tenderness and passion.
I lay my naked body unto your alter for worship.
I am filled with intent.

Without instruction
you recline.
I am
adoring,
I am
reverent.
It is for these moments that I live --
on any given day, I can be found glowing;
It is for these moments that I die --
on any given night, I can be found weeping.
I want you
without condition.
I do not know why.
I am concerned;
The extent of my feelings is unnatural.

With my fingertips 
I trace 
I study
I memorize
your every line --
so carefully
so meticulously
until nothing remains to be mapped.
It goes without saying
you are beautiful.

Tonight
my hands will eat.
Sacreligiously, I am stealing imprints of the sharpness
of the hardness
of the tightness
of the sinews
of your shoulders
of your forearms
of your chest
of your stomach
of your hipbones
of your calves
of your thighs.
What it is to pray,
what it is to be sexually aroused.

I am lost in the palms of your hands,
dizzy,
reeling,
hungry,
my mouth devouring yours --

and after you are moist about the ear and throat,
my lips slowly breeze across your centerland
tinge across a nipple
graze across that sacred, silky, most-white skin --

and after I feel you lightly shudder?
To the destination.
For the sacrament,
I close my eyes
and open my mouth:
my over-wet tongue to suckle the unlikely pair 
	rooting at your half-ripe non-thumb.
With artful mastery 
I raise and wield your stiff sword.
It is more than thick spit and friction;
it is technique and timing,
it is a little science and a little more theater.

I touch with cathartic purpose...
if I cannot possess mine own
I shall live vicariously
and
if I cannot possess him
then I shall borrow.

Hours seem like minutes;
seconds seem like days.
Seek no longer to indulge in the retrieval of information
Seek no longer to pay homage to the icon;
Seek instead to set skies and oceans aflame
Seek to awaken perverse motions
Seek to unleash instinctual sounds
Seek him to twist and squirm, 
	to contort and strain, 
	to whisper, gasp, moan and scream.
Seek him to succumb.
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